The Mind is a Double Edged Sword - Hunger

Continuing from my last post, which talked about purpose. Today's blog entry is an extension of that. Although at times there is purpose in one's life, there may still not exist the motivation and drive to achieve that purpose. One example is the hardship of study, most of us have gone through at least a decade of academic study, our young years were focused around learning more knowledge. But even though that may be the purpose of our life at that time, we may not strive hard for that purpose.

This related back to me recently, where I knew what I should do, why I wanted to do it, but there existed no drive for it. I had to really think about this one, why did I wake up in the morning and not want to do anything productive? Was it that I just needed a break from the constant study and work? I don't think so. The last 2 or so months were quite cruisy and I seldom done any work.

I didn't realize this at the time, but if one wants to work against the trend, to stand out, do something different, they need a strong personal force to carry that out. This personal force has many forms, for some it's confidence, for some it's arrogance, for some it's attention seeking, but for me this personal force is pride and hunger. Let us leave pride aside from today's blog and look at hunger.

Now I don't literally mean physical hunger, but I mean a more emotional, intellectual or spiritual hunger. To have a deep feeling of want, almost a sense of need so strong that they are willing to ignore social, emotional and economical forces working against them. I've yet to determine where this hunger derives from, I have feeling that it comes from external sources, such as living through a tough experience or seeing something you want to change.

I don't hunger for anything these days. That's what scares me, that I can let each day pass as if they don't matter. But they do, each day passed is another day out of 1000 that I waste. I want to achieve something, I want to do something unique, but I don't hunger it. So I decided that it was time to walk the unfamiliar to try and become hungry again.