The Mind is a Double Edged Sword - Purpose

So it's been about 3 months since I finished university. I feel that I've barely gotten anything done. True I've been doing some soul searching and now have a clearer view of what I'm doing with my life. But I can't help feel that each day slipping by is another that I'm wasting, a day that I could be using to move towards my dreams or goals.

I've slowly been getting Gamer's Life Convention planning back on track, but it just feels different to when I was planning the first convention. I lacked a drive, a desire, a want. Entrepreneurship became like a job, something that I would do to get by each month. I truly had to think about this hard. I finally remembered that I had something to prove. I wanted to show that I could create this convention, I wanted to show my peers that I could run the largest event the University has ever seen, I wanted to create an event that could continue to give back to the Bond Casual Gaming Society in the future.

When I finished uni and I wanted to plan the next event, many of the past motivations no longer existed. I was no longer proving myself to my classmates, I was no longer doing this for university causes. This is why I had to take time off to go soul searching. I wanted to know what I wanted to do and find out what it means to me.

The reason I wasn't driven, was because I never seriously saw my entrepreneurial work as a pathway into doing something great. No one has ever saved any families, educated any kids or cured any diseases by playing or supporting games. I wondered if building the gaming community could ever create any good. From my own thoughts and observations, I didn't think it was possible.

But when you think of examples of huge business people who have given their wealth, people like Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, their skills didn't directly facilitate in the positive contribution of society. They did what they did best, and then gave away what they could to good causes. Maybe what I'm doing now doesn't have to positively contribute to society yet. I don't know, this is something I hope the future reveals to me.

So, now with this "idealistic" mindset set aside for a while, all that was left was, "what do I want to do?" Amongst the many answers that came to mind, this was the  response that resonated with me the most;

"I want to create a community and run events for my friends. Not just my close friends at the moment, but all the people who I might meet in the future. I want to create a community where their hobbies and interests are accepted and promoted, a place where people can do what they enjoy.

I want to build the gaming community. Not just the competitive scene, not just E-sports, not just the commercial side, but the people side. I feel that each gamer contributes in their own way. I want to find a way to bring the community together by bringing that out."

After these thoughts passed my mind, I was mentally set. There would be many obstacles ahead of me, but for the first time in a long while, I felt that these obstacles were ones that I wanted to face. Maybe that's what causes us to go beyond, to create or do something much larger than what could be expected of us.

I still actually have more to write, but I'll break it up into a second part and finish off this idea later in the week. But to finish off, here's a short clip from the Matrix Reloaded that shines some light on the importance of purpose, Enjoy.